Don't beat yourself up over the phone call. You sounded reasonable on your side. I have come to learn that asking questions doesn't always get us the answer we were hoping for.
I agree that the best thing for you right now is to concentrate on yourself. Take the time to see what you really need in your life. You keep saying that your H isn't the man you married, well, if he were to decide that he wants the M to work, would you want to be married to the new H? I can honestly say that the changes my H made were one's that I had been hoping for for years. And the changes I have made are ones he is happy I made as well.
As my mom says, write out a pros/cons list and see where you end up...(never worked for me...)
Know that I am sending calm and positive vibes to you...
