Thanks for looking in on me. No I made the decision an hour after I had posted even considering dropping her. It was a reality check and her health insurance is all set. Yes I was being vindictive at first, but with Amy's help, I backed off and withdraw. As for other people in my life, I have pulled away from that and any thoughts of that. I have put my wedding ring back on the correct finger and have started working on the forgiveness portion of my life.
I talk to Him quite a bit as I had posted. Certain things needed to be done and He had me do them, that said I am in a verty good place. Oh yeah, miss her terribly, but I am in a good place. The only insurance she is in trouble with is her car insurance. I am the one with all the bills. It was agreed to early on that she would be responsilbe for her car payment, car insurance and her credit cards. Her car is getting ready to be repossessed, I have had to carry the car insurance and plead with her for the money every month and she has done nothing with her credit cards. She does not pay rent. what she does do is drive 2 hours round trip once or twice a week to see OM, drinks and parties at least 4 nights out of 7, and that aint cheap.
Yes I am in a tough position, but no more so that anyone else on this site. Since doing some of my small things, I feel better about myself. Don't worry about her health insurance, sometimes what I post her eis venting because I have no other place. The W has been informed her health insurance is set and I explained the new ppolicy and pricing. I agree with your DB coach and I am doing the same. I am not going to interfere if her car gets reposessed, that is her issue. the car insurance is a direct withdrawal from my account monthly. I put her on with me as a nice gesture and to help us save money. If I had been on this site then, it would not have happened. I would have removed myself and left her insurance alone. I am learning to leave her to her own.
I truly love my W, and it was just brought to my attention that we had, and maybe still have, true love. I don't want to see her hurt or even hit bottom, but I also realize if I don't nothing will get better. Just to let you know one of my most recent revelations was that I was most likely in MLC after my dad died. My rock bottom was her bomb august 3, 2008 11:30 AM. What I did after that and who I am now are testament to the person I am. I planted a kiss on her last week, on the mouth, becasue I was compelled to do it. No expectations, just a kiss. She did not receded, turn away or push me away. She accepted my kiss and kissed back. I walked away from her after that without looking back. This is not a vengeful person, if I was, the deal would be done, trust me...
