Is there a glimmer of hope for I'mstillhopeful ?

[I'mstillhopeful]

H did come over for dinner on Wednesday night. There had been a snow storm that morning and the local clinic had called the house to notify him of some early cancellations. I texted him and he called back with heartfelt thanks. We had a fairly long and pleasant conversation about his dog.

Small positive steps:
H has not notified the staff at the clinic that he no longer lives in town.
The purpose of the visit was to call our friends together to maintain the facade that we are still a couple.
H ordered a gift for me from Amazon, tracked it and notified me to expect delivery.
When he arrived for dinner he brought a slice of cake from his work place.
H is now driving my vehicle and seems to be appreciating it.
H thanked me twice for dinner.


One negative aspect to dinner:
Part of the alien had returned. H was inpatient, complaining, and exhibiting all the negative behaviors which had started to emerge as he was becoming involved with the OW. I slipped into past behavior of rescuing and taking on the "super-woman role" which only made him more unreasonable.

After much thought the next day I e-mailed him:
I'm glad you liked the food I prepared. Upon reflection of the dinner I honestly have to tell you that I didn't enjoy myself very much. You'd mentioned going out to dinner on Wednesday night. I had been looking forward to it but now I am having second thoughts. Perhaps we'll catch up after Christmas and I'll give you the things I had planned to give you on the 24th.

His reply:
I'm sorry if I brought stress. I thought we had a reasonably good time dining out before Thanksgiving so maybe we can do that sometime, in fact, I've been calling restaurants to see which would be open on Christmas Eve. Most will be closed.

My reply:
You were checking on restaurants? That's awesome! I had an absolutely wonderful time dining out. I didn't mean to imply that you brought the stress. I guess I should have explained that I was uncomfortable because I felt I was lapsing into actions/reactions which I had hoped to have worked through by now.

I guess it wasn't a major miss step because last night H called me to see if the dog and I were safely inside and warm during the nor'easter.

Small steps I know but I think they are in the proper direction.