Tech. Thanks as always for your input. Seems to always put me back on track. Lodo. Thank you so much for posting. I admire where you are in your life as that is where I need to be. Loving 100% without expectations. Can only dream of that at this point, working on getting there though. Unconditional friendship seems so distant to me now, but how much stronger we can be when we get there. Today was much better, seems to be when I am work. Always have things to keep my mind off R. I have resigned myself to not making any contact at all until I hear from X. WE have no "date nights" planned this week due to work schedules and Christmas. Able to get away a bit as I have plans for myself a couple days this week. As for dating. I have gone out on a few dates. X knows about them and when I do go out seems she makes contact with me that day or during the date. Hmmmm? Finding that I am very closed still but that has been nice, to go out with gals that I only want to hang out with, no more. Its so fun when there is no pressure to impress or try to 'get in their pants'. Maybe this is a lesson I needed to learn, part of learning to accept a person without expectations. This will by far be the hardest thing when it comes to X. I look forward to the day I can say I truly have no expectations from/of her. I am using these dates to practice what I have learned through coaching, reading etc. as far as communication, listening and just plain having fun. All of this is helping raise my feeling of self worth. That part of me has been beyond down since this all started. So many lessons to learn, so many that pass by without notice. Seems the more you learn the more you find that you need to learn much much more. Ok I'm rambling so better get to bed. Thanks B
