Thank you for posting on my thread! I really appreciate it. I had hoped that things would be better today & he would be planning on being with you for the holidays. My H is stubborn also & also holds a grudge, so I know what you mean.
I agree with everyone else, he has to move forward & forgive you as you have to forgive him.
Hang in there, you are doing so well. I know this is a set back, just keep praying!
I could really use all the prayers tonight. H said this evening that he would pick up my sis from the airport. I need prayer that he will have a change of heart and want to be with the family on Christmas.
It was weird he said to s7 that he would pick up auntie at the airport, so I guess he has committed to that. He knew that I wouldn't be able to with the weather. He knows that I am not a good driver in the snow and have No chains on the tires.
H was so nice tonight. We went out to dinner just the 2 of us. We picked up a few stocking stuffers and then drove around and enjoyed the snow. He held my hand, clutched my arm when we walked so I wouldn't fall, seemed like he really cared.
He will be over tomorrow, afternoon.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
GG - forgiveness is so hard for them. But you know, it is not just a matter of him forgiving you for sharing your worries with other people. The real problem is PRIDE in his heart.
The real problem is he is too proud to accept his part of the responsibility for the mess.
MWG, can you recommend any biblical meditations on pride?
been lurking awhile on your thread. Just wondering if you are doing a lot of over thinking. Just let the holidays be as good as they can be, backing off big time. Let the kids have a good holiday even if you fear it's the last one as an intact family. As best you can, put all fears and doubts on hold for now. Be in the moment and have some fun. No analysis, microscope "What does that mean???" etc the fact is, your h doesn't know what everything he's doing or saying means, so you are wasting your time trying to figure that out. Remember the 180s and GAL.... good luck, j
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Just a thought here.....is there any way to bring up this issue with MC? With a neutral 3rd party there, maybe H can express more of why he can't let something go from 3 years ago?
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Thanks for all the prayers and good advice. Hopefully my sis will make it in. Many flights are cancelled, so far her's still says On Time.
H said he would be here around 3pm. I am more hopeful for the holidays now. Thanks 25 yrs for reminding me of living in the moment. We sometimes forget when we are all wrapped up in the moment.
I need to remind myself that Christmas is just another day with or without h.
I love it! The kids are wrapping all the gifts for h, S20, auntie, and grandpa and grandma. It's great to have help.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Just a quick question, and no offense meant, okay?
but who cares why he can't let go of something from 3 years ago? If he's a "festering wound" type of guy, who won't/can't let go of past injuries, HE suffers for it and that's his problem, NOT yours. Sure, sure, it effects you. I get that. It effects those he effects but only HE can fix that problem.
You may as well worry about the snowfall levels. That effects you too, but you have no control over it. Maybe a c can show him how miserable HE is b/c he doesn't let go, or know how to forgive, and how miserable it makes others.
But all YOU can do, is model that behavior. So YOU can't be bringing up stuff from the past either, or keeping score, etc. I mean, isn't that pretty similar? Same with present day over analyzing...
Just a thought. Good luck j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25 yrs that is a good point, but it does concern me because if he hangs onto the past of 3 years ago it doesn't allow us to move forward with reconciliation.
When he is reminded of the past, he goes to blame/anger mode and then starts all over again. If he could move beyond this stage only then can he heal.
I try my best not to bring up the past unless it's happy memories. Now a few times I have tripped up, but really try to keep that in the past. Thanks.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
