Never made it to any parties yesterday. D7 was not feeling well, so we ended up just going home. While at my mom's house, and with D7 laying on me on a chair, the wife called.
As my usual, I have D11 answer it. She talks for a while and then brings the phone to me and, as her usual, tries to put the phone to my ear.
"What?!" "Here! She wants to talk to you!
Our usual thing now.
She says hello and then asks about D7. D11 had already told her about her not feeling well. I tell her that probably weren't going to the childrens party because 1) she never called to verify the time, and 2) D7 wasn't feeling well. The wife mentions that it sounded like allergies and I agreed. She then asked if I'm able to talk without the girls hearing me. I say no, and she says that she is going to read off the kids wish list and if I could let her know what I got. She reads down all the stuff and I respond, "Yup" when she says something I bought.
After, I ask her what SHE has gotten them. She says that she hasn't gone shopping yet. She has just finished her batches of tamales and is getting ready to go now. I let her talk to D7 for a bit and then after, we head home.
We went to church this morning and then back home. Lunch, more movies, and then later D7 fell asleep on my bed. While she slept, D11 and I made Oatmeal cookies. Around 5:30, I call the wife and ask if she is at the apartment. She says yes and I let her know that we are finishing making some cookies and that we'll be by just a bit later. She say she'll be home. I ask if I should feed them and she says she'll make something there.
On the way in, maybe 10 minutes from the apartment, B calls me. We talk for a little bit. Haven't spoken to her in a few days. She always seems to call at the oddest times.
Before we get there, I let the girls know that I'm not going in so we'll say our goodbyes outside the apartment. Walking to the apartment, D7 asks, "Daddy, how come you don't want to come inside? You don't like momma anymore?"
I let her know that THAT is not what it is, I just don't want to go inside anymore. At the door, D11 knocks and the wife comes to answer it. I beging saying my goodbyes and give kisses. The wife is telling us to come inside, but I keep on saying goodbyes. The girls go in and I hand D7's school back pack to the wife.
She is wearing a camoflage baseball cap. I know the OM has a similar cap that sits on her tv entertainment center in her room. Looking closer, its not the same one. This one has the fish symbol of Christians on the front.
"Do you want to stay for dinner?" she asks me. "No, but thank you. Thank you."
D7 asks, "You don't want to stay, daddy?" "No momma. Its better that I don't."
D7 comes to me again and I tell her goodbye. She is trying to stall me by talking to me. I tell her to be a good girl and that we'll see each other on Wednesday.
"Christmas Eve, right daddy?" "Yup. Christmas Eve."
I say goodbye and start to walk off. She says she'll call me, right at the last second. I just smile and keep on walking.
Outside the wifes door were two bags of trash, which I left. Almost walked back to get them to throw away for her. Thought about it, but changed my mind.
Then, I sat inside my car and cried. Sat there for maybe 15 minutes. Cried some more on the way home. Trying not to cry right now.
House is empty. We were listening to Christmas songs on the way to drop them off, so the station was still on.
Turned off the tree, and the Holiday lamp. Went into the girls rooms and just cant' stop being sad.
I miss my girls already. Do I miss the wife? I must. I keep thinking about us, but I know I'm doing the right thing for me. This Christmas is going to be really hard. The memories keep flooding in.
