T, i agree with T, read the book , the Shack, thoroughly enjoyed it.Take care brother.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
I want to buy "The Christmas Sweater" by Glenn Beck. I listen to him on the radio all the time and the book has a great message about remembering the gift God gave us....
Enjoy your movie. No Star Wars movie tonight. H has the kids for his birthday, although they were here most of the day and are here now going to bed. But S bought H 6 star wars action figures for his present so they were played with today...
Good night.
Why can't you talk to your darling? Are you still in a battle of the wills over who will call who first, or are you just not talking?
Hey BBJ
"The Christmas Sweater" sounds good. I had heard of it because I listen to Glenn every now and again. He can be pretty nuts but I like him.
As far as why I can't talk to my darling. That stems from the 2nd to last convo that I had with her. I seemed to detect a waning interest in her wanting to talk to me and so I taold her that it seemed that way and that I didn't want to be calling if my calls were not welcome. So I asked her if they were welcome. She responded by saying that maybe it wasn't a bad idea that I not call her. So I told her that because I love her too much I would respect and comply with her wishes. Within a couple of hours after that she called me back and almost pretended like that previous call had never happened. She started off by saying that something funny had happened to her and she wanted to share it w/ me. So I let her share and that was that.
well, aren't you still in that mens group from church? that would count. Or if your working out, or maybe take a class of something, or playing a sport, or doing some volunteer work.
Thanks for your support Crissy. I attend the Men Standing for their M monthly get together every few months. It is not related to the church that I have been attending. Those meetings are in direct conflict with my flight schedule so I have to "get sick" in order to be able to attend :). The meetings are terrific though and have put me in touch with really good guys. The working out, classes and volunteerism have been "on my radar" for a very long time now. Just to damn lazy and stupid to do anyting that might help my cause.
And as far as the DD15 issue. Laziness stands in the way of that as well. Plus I think it is a little out of my comfort zone to be calling and interfering. I do trust that the Lord is caring for her. I am embarrassed about all that had trnaspired over the several years that I was actively involved in her life. It was one great big mirage. A pretend kind of game. I got to play make believe dad for a little bit there. I really wished that it had never happened as it has been yet another severe heartbreaker for me. Just thinking about that right now causes me to just freeze. My heart is frozen over like a Canadian pond. Make that a Siberian pond. I am not dealing very well.
I am pissed.
T
Originally Posted By: Crissy
I think you should call that foster mom, just a quick call to say you've missed her and wanted to make sure she was safe and happy. can you send a card to her to deliver for xmas?
hey if your best at doing nothing, then I DEFINITELY recommend you do something!
do call, because what if she has wondered if you even care about her? Can you send a xmas card? I think you should do something, show her that you still think of her and tell her what a great person she is, and how it changed your life.
and no, you would not be better never to have been her father. I know it's another heartbreak, but the cliche is true, it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
After having spent the last little while dropping friendly notes over to my buddies over in N/C land, it is a downer to come by here and be reminded of the mess that exists here in my life.
You really seem to be a big proponent of my reaching out to DD15 Crissy. Aren't you? You must understand ... I don't think my heart can take too much more of this crap. SO as not to be misunderstood, I am not equating DD15 with CRAP. It is just that all that encircles the situation is CRAP.
Perhaps it is the right thing to do , IDK. But there is a part of me that wants to believe that DD15 does really know how much I truly love her. Maybe it would serve some good for her to hear it again? I can not talk to her directly anyway as that is now forbidden. But she could possibly be given the message that I called and was asking about her.
I just do not know what to think or what to do. This is all to heavily charged emotionally for me.
