So this morning I went to church and one of the things they talked about was 'know where you are in life' and 'know how you got there'.
Well, I am getting divorced. My STBXW is living the life she believes she wants, with someone new. She does not want to be with me ever again. I need to move on with my life.
How did I get here? While I didn't 'make' her do the things she is doing I did create the environment that helped her to justify running away. While I was in pain and turning to alcohol to 'feel better' she was also in pain because she relied on me to BE the 'Alpha Male'. When I couldn't or wouldn't she turned elsewhere. That's her issue in life.
So, it hurts to know what I know and to think that she is spending the holidays with someone else instead of me. But the fact that she can make that choice says that she isn't a person with the character to fight for her husband or her family.
That's ok, I understand that. I also understand that I need to let go of hope of restoration of this marriage and move on with my life.
