Hey everyone...I want to say how blessed I feel that things are still so positive and friendly...that he can call me, for an hour or more (I should remember to get off the phone first in future!). I feel so lucky that he did that, made time before he left for holiday, told me his plans and when he is back and not only that, but got me a card and wrapped a present after a year+ apart, which he didnt do last year. So touched.
Lisa - We had the chance to do this trip 2 years ago and he said No Way! He said he wouldnt survive the car journey with brother & SIL, neverlone the week. His brother irritates him after a day and he doesnt like SIL. So..he must have been desperate to NOT have a cosy family Christmas at her house, or at his Mums, IMHO.
Jim - Yes, it was a stretch for him, posting me a present, when off sick. He always forget to do this in time for his BMF and berate himself. Also, he said.."I dont know what I am doing, I just havent thought about it at all, I dont want to think about it, I cant be *rsed to think about it, I dont feel at all christmassy"... and yet, he went to the trouble of posting me a present. So.. wow!! And...no idea why !
MrsM.. no I wasnt lying, I really did want HIM to have a nice Christmas week, without really realising that meant he would be having a nice week with HER! Durr! I havent wanted to talk about her, before and I dont want to, I was just so shocked, that question slipped out!! I will avoid ow talk in future!
ITH - Yes, I feel that he does love and care for me. I dont know what else is there, or could be in the future if him and her split up. I guess all I can do is to continue trying to be his friend
...so on the phone I bought up our mortgages and rental income. He talked to me about his tenant too and I offered to help if he needed it (but doubt he will take me up on that). He keeps telling me how broke he is and how he has to move to a cheaper place in Jan, so for the first time, I approached it:
M: Theres going to be money building up in the account, why dont you start taking it out? Its yours afterall H: oh no...thats ok, I'm happy to leave it in there.. M: well, I know how worried about money you are, so you may as well take your half if you ? H: oh well, thats alright.. anyway...interest rates wont be low forever M: well, they probably will be for a while yet...? H: oh well.. thats ok...
He then changed the subject. He has never mentioned our house, selling or otherwise, or splitting finances/assets in a year. Not once, ever, since he left. I do feel as though he feels a sense of responsbility for me, but I cant read anything into it and it might just be as - he "cant be *rsed", as he would say ! But its something else I feel blessed and grateful for, as I dont want to sell my house.
