I understand this year I dont have my girls but Im 'faking it until I make it'
X OW is into taking pictures and it sounds like she does thsi sort of thing soemtimes on purpose in hopes i get to see the "happy family".
It was her idea to take xmas pictures infront of our huge xmas tree downtown to send xmas post cards. In the beginning she would even take pictures of herself everywhere also inside x's car..just to prove a point. We never send xams family post cards.
On my 'evil days' I have thought about sneaking pictures of X kissing me and trying to undress me...he he...since she likes pics so much.
Hi True! This has been a hard holiday season...the first when I was no longer standing and know that divorce is inevitable...so sad really.
I have learned a lot though...I know that God has another plan for me...
Boy, have I learned a lot about myself...and parts of me that were dormant are waking up again...and I feel like I can breathe a little easier...like the air is MINE...go figure...
Keep looking towards the sun!
Hugs, Valentine
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Hi Vali, I am glad for you that parts of you are waking up and that you can breath a little easier. I know how hard the holiday season must be for you. Take care. (((HUGS))) to you too.
True, I still have my moments...when I feel down. I see happy families shopping and a million jewelry commercials with the man buying the woman jewelry...and I remember when it was me...and it wasn't so much about the stuff it was that someone loved me enough to take the time to do that...that someone was thinking of me.
I miss that. I miss being loved and cherished. I miss being so completely in love with someone. And although this is the FIRST year that I am going through this knowing my marriage is truly dead and over...it feels like I have been alone for a LONG time...and, in fact, I have.
But the season also reminds me that it is not about me...that it is about the Savior who was given to us...to celebrate His coming. I take comfort in that and for all the good things God has bestowed upon me...like the Lissy girl..who did not want get up this morning..it was chilly here...32F/0C and I just wanted to stay cuddled up with her...I just love my gerl!
So, I am having a good day today...I hope you are too..
I know how you feel. I also miss being in love and being loved. I miss the fun things we used to do and the laughter. But I don't want to be with anybody in order to not be alone.
I also had a few good days, althought I got sad inbetween. But when the sun shines I feel so much happier, even if it is cold outside.
Yes, we have been alone for A LONG TIME. Sometimes I quite enjoy being able to do what I want and that's why I am worried that I will get used to it and develope some strange habits. I don't want to end up like a strange loner.
I wish you a lovely week and some more good days. (((((HUGS)))))
True, you are right...we have to love ourselves first....and yes it is good to have our alone time...I will admit that i have to have it and always have...being smothered was never my thing.
The sunshine is so important to me as well...
But you are right...we have to get back in the swing...otherwise we will become too eccentric!
Hugs, sweets! Valentine
Hope your holidays are peaceful...
Last edited by Valentine; 12/21/0804:33 PM.
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Okay, so I met this very nice man...doesn't seem to play games and seems very straight-forward...and I will have to get rid of my ambivalence towards him and the situation...
Although, being aloof has always been a way for me to be less vulnerable...And vulnerability is not a strong point for me...the possiblity of being hurt has always made move in the opposite direction.
This was something I did even before my marriage and I think was a contributor to problems in my marriage...so I must learn to stop it and be vulnerable or else I will not have learned anything...
So, we will see where this leads me...hopefully to a better understanding of myself and towards the future...
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
