I wouldn't try to project a mean-spirit onto your wife. You are divorced. She still enjoys your company, as a friend. Nothing wrong with that.
She doesn't know the pain it causes you. You are hiding the pain behind a mask of PMA. Near as she can tell you enjoy spending time with her too.
On the condo thing... I know personally how these things can hurt. You have a goal to remarry and want your relationship to march towards that goal. Comments like this represent a regression and hurt.
Just remember, this hurt is something that you are choosing to create. And, honestly, your wife probably doesn't even imagine you are experiencing. In her mind, you are divorced which naturally entails that you would both be preparing for a life apart. That is very reasonable on her part.
Seems like you have three choices:
1. Too much pain... Stop being friends and move on 2. Keep being true friends and start dating for new R's 3. Keep being friends and stay celebate in hopes of cultivating a future R with W.
An ability to 'detach' will minimize the pain and help you have the strength to follow path #3, if you choose. That is why we all work on detachment so hard.
I'm not sure the letter is in your best interests. You are divorced. Wife could easily see your letter as irrational. Why write a letter 'releasing' her when your already divorced? She would most likely see it as pursuit and kind of crazy. It could make you look desperate and weak.
However, I <would> recommend that you write the letter. Just don't send it! The act of writing the letter could very much help you to detach.
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
