Later in the evening I called him. (I know I know) I said "just checking to see if your coming back or not"
One step forward when you declined drunk sex with him, two steps back when you called him.
Your husband is classic with the manipulation. I know because my xH is the EXACT same way. Sadly, I could see what he was doing (being passive aggressive towards me, manipulating me) and I still let it happen for soooo long. Not good for me. And not good for you either.
I understand about your in laws. I declined my in law's Thanksgiving offer for the same reason. I am going to Christmas though, as we are also celebrating D7's bday.
About asking H for the ride for your daughter. Here's a plan (what I do now), make ALL the arrangements yourself. Do not include H at all. If he comes along, wants to help, offers help, accept it and thank him (without gushing). This way he feels appreciated (something men like your H and my xH don't feel a lot) and you are covered and spared from disappointment when he doesn't follow through.
Glad you didn't go to him the other night. Even if he is struggling with what to do with OW, you turning him down made him realize that possibly, just possibly, he can't have his cake and eat it too.
