Time for ME to change...scared as hell...

[theotherhalf]

Morning all. I am supposed to have christmas today for my family and it snowed it is snowing and the winds are 25-30 mph. With wind chills up to 30 below. So I am putting the turkey in but don't know if anyone will make it to eat it.

I spent my day yesterday making christmas candy and cookies. What for I really don't know. I always take a big batch to Inlaws for xmas. This year I am not going so I guess I just give it away as gifts.

I ran into SIL at store yesterday. She asked if I was coming to xmas. I told her no. She said she understood but not to cut them out. I told her it had nothing to do with the family. That I love and will miss them all. But I have to do things differently now. It's time for me to let him go.

H came out about 2 with BIL. They came in and I just was oh happy go lucky. Spent most of the time talking to BIL. H was pretty quiet. D17 was here and you could have cut the tension between her and H with a knife. They worked outside most of the day. H changed the oil in my car. I caved a little bit. Selfish reasons. I asked H if him and BIL wanted to hang out here tonight so that he could push snow in the am for me. (because of people coming) He didn't commit one way or another. I told him no big deal if he didn't. He said we'll see and went back outside. They left after a bit.

Later in the evening I called him. (I know I know) I said "just checking to see if your coming back or not" he said "no we are at moms" I said "okay, thanks for changing my oil, talk to you later" he said "yea, no problem". So hopefully he comes this morning. If my sister makes it from her town I don't know if she'll make it down my road. I guess we'll see.

Well better go cook.