Ah Hmama, it sucks being all alone & having everything depend on you. I've wished I could clone myself for years. I had a few months where H was really stepping up & doing more than pulling his weight. Now he's slipped back some, & it's soooooo frustrating. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you with everything you have going on. The crappy principle, work issues, driving, etc. Ugh !!
Hang in there sweetie. It has to get better soon.
luv ya
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Thanks, Cookie. H never really pulled his weight either, so I'm kind of used to some of this. And his family never really stepped in for us (altho they did for others) for transportation, child care, etc. So that's not much different either. I think I'm just feeling it more these days, and especially this busy week. But D is done with school at 3, and I was technically done yesterday but am doing data entry today. And aside from some data entry over the holiday, we have 2 weeks off together. I can do data entry from home--and don't mind doing it because I will get paid. So things calm down considerably soon.
Still haven't had a reply from the principal. I wouldn't be surprised if he ignores it.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Just got a reply from H to an email trying to work out scheduling for Christmas eve. I made a comment about this being the first Christmas in 18 years I haven't spent with his family. His reply to that: "I know this is very difficult – for all of us – and adjustments will take time and support."
I couldn't let that crap slide! Time and support--well I have NONE! My reply to him: "I know this is different for you as well. However, it was your choice, and you still have your family as well as a new relationship. Please don't do me the disrespect of equating our situations this holiday season."
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
It's been a hectic week--D12 has had choir gigs almost every evening. I love this stuff--not so much the schedule this week, but it's one week out of the year. I went to the concerts last night and tonite. Didn't see H there, but tonite D said he stopped into the "waiting room" midway thru the part where her choir wasn't singing, said the traffic was terrible and he had to leave early. Then when the concert was over he texted her several times to see if she had a ride home.
Okay, it was Saturday evening, and I ran into no traffic at all getting there. I never saw him there, nor did any of the other parents' group because they asked me if he'd made any of the performances. So what's up with that? I have a feeling he never came to the concert but just came by to make her think he was there.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
That pisses me off to no end, that he can't take a few minutes out of his "very busy" week to come watch D. Don't get me near him, I may have to hurt him.
Hugs to you. It's so hard to be mom & dad.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I keep waiting for this to lock up....and I really don't have a good title for another thread waiting.
As it turns out, H was at the concert, discussed at least the early parts with me. But was indeed in a hurry to leave and didn't want to fight the crowd to get out. Guess he had a hot date. D12 speculated (on her own initiative) that he didn't want to see the other families.
It was a fabulous concert. Seeing several hundred very talented children singing together, with beautiful Christmas music, an incredible organ, harp and horn ensemble--wow, what could be better? As I sat by myself, I remembered previous concerts where H and I were there together, and I remembered almost always feeling hurt and angry at him while sitting there. And while I didn't so much enjoy sitting by myself, it was better than sitting with someone who had made me feel so small. And I knew that it will get better, either way--at some point I will no longer feel so alone. So at any rate, I probably enjoyed the concert more than any other I can recall. Heck, the mayor was there, and was tearful listening to the beautiful music--that's how lovely it was!
On a brighter note, I went to church yesterday at my parish for the first time since I left (except for a couple of funeral). D12 was an altar server, and I wanted her to fulfill her obligation. I've sort of tried to go before and not made it because of feeling suddenly sick! But this time it was okay. Folks were happy to see me. And while it was difficult to listen to the pastor's homily (at one point, mentioning that people were more important than buildings--which is something he has shown is NOT true for him over and over in the past year!) ultimately I left feeling I could come back and be part of the community. This is huge for me. After mass I was talking with some friends, and when the pastor could no longer avoid it he came over to say hello. I successfully avoided thanking him for his support and concern over the past months (not an email, call, card, or any contact at all to see how D and I are faring, altho he knows my situation). It will always be difficult for me to see him and the staff members who railroaded me out, but ultimately one doesn't belong to a community because of the pastor and staff, but because of the community. I've always known that, was just waiting to feel it strongly enough to be comfortable there again.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
