you know, I believe you definitely should NOT be in the fight. You just need to be the cheerleader. Most of the time, I think the man wants to fix things himself, and do it his way of course, and if you try to step in, it will just allow him to think that you feel he is incapable of fixing it, therefore instead of building him up, you end up tearing him down. I did this a lot with my H over the years. Now of course if your usually the one who does not try to take control of things, or tries to fix things, and it is a 180 for you, then I'd be for it... but I just know that you are the type to step in...so it would not be a 180. I think for you, the 180 is to step aside. right?
plus, it will sometimes feel relieving to let it go, and realize you don't have to take control of it.
Now, I do think that you can be creative to help guide your H, for instance on the paternity test.
so, are you getting thru the cold? it wasn't too aweful here today. I drove the kids to see xmas lights which was cool. woulda liked H to have gone, but he watched football of course...
and speaking of football! Go Steelers!!! boo Titans!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
