You are right, fb. I take my marriage very seriously, and my vows very seriously, and it is devastating to me to realize that just b/c I promised to love, honor, cherish, etc till death.....that doesn't mean I get the same in return. Guess I just assumed I would...
I am entering the final months of our joint checking into quicken this evening....so far I have entered 20 pages by hand, yawn...I started in July and I am up to the first of october so yay me. Once we are separated financially, it will take no time as I am not the spender in this couple. So there's a bright side.
It dawned on me tonight that it has been over a year now of waiting to be separated 'for real', as in, people knowing about it, the kids knowing about it, H actually having his own REAL place to live, visitation in place, etc....
I am sure there is a % of my heart/mind that will not believe it until it happens, but now it is really happening. For all the talk, this time there really is a house being bought,not just words and threats.
H and the kids went out to see his mom and dad for his birthday tonight. I stayed home and entered checking. Tomorrow the kids and I go to my moms' family's christmas and H will not be going. Slowly but surely this is really happening. And I am still breathing...........
