Making my own good karma!!

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, {{{{BG}}}}.

You're on! I'm in the alt. I am friends with Wifey and SMW and sandycay. I also have my name here as part of my name there, but spelled different. I don't have a pic there yet. Right now FB seems to be down. I'll try again later.

H and I have some good understanding now about where we are financially and I have basically turned it all over to him. I told him since he was the one that wants this, he can figure it all out from here. We have a LOT of debt because we just finished building the dream house. With the economy the way it is, it is not a great idea to sell them if we can hold off. So, H is going to look into the possibility of re-fi. I told H what my "must haves" were, and he promised to keep them the highest priority, and I told him if he could find a way to keep the dream house, I would be willing to do what I could so long as my musts were met.

He says he is in no hurry to file for divorce, because that would reduce his pension due to fewer dependents. And he said he has absolutely no thought to ever re-marry again. (I know that can change in a heartbeat.)

I have a toothache that is killing me and I am taking vicadin to tide me over til Monday when I can get in to see the dentist.

We are having a heck of a snow storm and H is going to the retirement community where he works and will be there all week, including X-mas. I am sitting here thinking that I just want to sit with my husband and watch some movies and then go to bed and snuggle up like we used to. I used to love being snowed in when we lived in upstate NY.

Everybody I know is saying that it's great that things are finally happening with the "split" and that I am better off and I'll be so happy and stronger.......even my kids want the divorce. I hate this!! I know after todays talk that I will be OK practically speaking. I have a nice place to live. I have the support of my family. Everyone says H will be sorry one day. But, I just want to tell everyone to shut up! I don't want this! I want my husband! Or at least the man I thought he was!

But, at least I didn't have too much trouble staying detatched today. I didn't show any of this emotion except for when I asked for the hug. No R talk at all. So, I'm going to count that as a baby step for me!