Another One Bites the Dust (3)

[No Longer BH]

NC has been helping me a lot. I can feel some of the anger slipping away and peace returning. I am no longer affraid to get D, which is a huge relief. I am even getting to a place closer to indifference when it comes to OEO. It is so much nicer to be here than where I have been for the last couple of months. I think I was unable to deal with some of my most raw emotions over the summer, so they came crashing in on me. They are finally receeding.

OEO is still very angry with me. I have tried to take the high road and offer a compermise. Even though I do not believe it is fair that I get forced out of my home 2 nights a week and one weekend a month, I decided to cave and let him have it back....mostly. After our disaster of a mediation appointment, he went on a rampage and filed a motion with a L. He started to threaten that he was going to fight me on everything and try to get full custody of our son. He didnt care how much it was going to cost, he just wanted me to suffer.

This is when I offered the olive branch. The exception is that I will only leave one weekend a month every other month AND that I am the one in control of paying the bills and the house payment (so he cant force forecloser on me) AND that he sign a mediation agreement that forces him to try mediation without any threatening motions through L, or he will have to pay all legal fees. So, even though I am givening in, it is a price to him as well. If he choses not to agree, that is fine, I will just hand everything over to my L to fight out and get an order that states he is no longer allowed in the family home.

I do NOT want to fight. I do NOT want to get ugly. I am trying very hard here to compromise even in the face of his bullying and threats. Part of me feels like I should not even give in to letting him stay at the house. After all, if I give him this one, who is to say he wont react the same way on the next issue and just to try and get what he wants. Is it wrong of me to not want him here? I am crazy for just wanting to feel like I have my own place while this is going on? What do you guys think? Should I have stuck to my guns or caved?