Hi Beth: So many positives - and not just in terms of your interaction with your H - but in terms of you and where you're finding yourself.
Taking off your rings after meeting with him today must have felt both cathartic and difficult - but I can see why you did - since it's very clear from what he said that what he's going through really does seem to be an MLC. A lot of your conversation seemed to be about defining things and not defining things...and not fulling under certain definitions - all questions that, when in crises mode, must seem all that more confusing and pressing.
He clearly has a lot of feelings for you - and something about his words as you conveyed them also suggested to me that maybe he feels unworthy of you. Letting him know that you love him for who he is was probably very important to him.
Having the movie and the dancing to look forward to sounds so very positive...and it will give you the chance to be there for him/with him without any expectations...and it seems like offering him you without expectations could be great for both of you.
I wouldn't make too much of his bringing up divorce - as I've noticed that sometimes, when the WAS speaks in front of the LBS, a lot of what they say is liking thinking out loud - and we're just there to hear it...not necessarily to respond...oh...that reminds me of something I heard the other night - it doesn't directly relate to anything you've written about your sitch - but I think it relates to relationships in a more general way - it was: whenever we act defensive the other person feels unheard.
I guess I'm just mentioning that here because sometimes the partner going through an MLC can start making statements that just aren't very true or accurate to what we perceive - and the trick seems to be not to defend ourselves...since we want our partners to feel heard.
I'm happy for you, Beth. You are moving in the right direction.
