CL, I hope you know I didn't mean to put you or your W down...it just seems to be a trend that happens in your posts, and I wanted to point it out.
I agree that compassion is something you're already working on, and something you are doing a VERY good job of accomplishing. If I've learned anything in all of this it's two things:
1-I control me, and me only. I am responsible for my own happiness...and that extends to everyone around me. I can do my best to do what I can for them, but ultimately, happiness is in their hands. 2-If what I'm doing isn't working, I need to try something different. Doing more of the same does not get me any nearer my goal.
As to point one: I know you get that in regards to yourself, and mostly in regards to your W.
As to point two: I think what I meant by "a good swift kick" is this: she seems to take most of your efforts to be compassionate and meet her demands for granted. We should brainstorm a change of approach that meets your needs for treating her with respect and kindness but puts a damper on her abusive tirades.
I'm so glad the sleeping-elsewhere stuff has stopped. I hope it stays that way. I think it is important to keep the forward momentum going, and one of the hurdles that has to be jumped here is her need to take responsibility and stop using you as her punching-bag-therapy. Since you can only control you, it seems that finding a new way of responding to her is the first place to start.
