How to start from scratch in 12 Mos Separation ?

[SingleDad]

I hate this.

Learned my my 3 yo daughter that "Buddy" is "mommy's friend who she sleeps with"

I had been thinking for the last months that her affair was over.

I talked angerly with W telling her she "has no morals anymore. I had to learn from my daughter that you are again sleeping with OM while our daughter is with you. Can't you wait to F-ck until you don't have our daughter? What kind of morals do you think our daughter is learning?" Obviously I am furious.

She also offered to give me 2 or 3 hours on Christmas while she cleaned her house for a family party... Later she told me I should be happy with that... and it was her BF's idea that I should spend a couple hours on Christmas with our daughter. Right now I'm thinking about telling my W she can "go to hell".

I know saying those things will get me nowhere, but I do not care anymore... my daughter's mother is no longer the woman I married... A selfish, spoiled, morally corrupted person has taken over.

I hate all of the lies and deceipt. I gave her a small fortune in martial settlement upon our separation, only to learn that she is already effectively starting a new family with her, her BF and our daughter. It sickens me to think that my daughter will be spending Christmas with the BF and not her father !!!

My W even threw sh-t in my face saying that she was thinking about adopting (obviously with BF), saying I would never have wanted to adopt.

I go back to the BD'ing and GAL - then I get some upsetting news and I flip out. It's an ongoing cycle. I periodically think there is some hope - then another crushing blow.

I do not know how some people can move on so easily. I feel like I am in pergatory, going through an unbearable test.

I can't hope anymore - the pain is too unbearable.

I do not know how to move forward and live my own life. I feel she has taken everything away from me.

I have thought about masking my loneliness by dating - but have learned that no one is interested in dating someone who is "legally separated".

I had thought this upcoming holiday week would be bearable and try to spend a few hours together as a family, until I get this crushing news. Now I do not know how I will get through it.