Partner left after 9 years - now what?

[MsMelancoly]

((Ali)), ((Ali))), ((Ali)), I'm sorry to see that you are still in so much pain. I have to agree with GFI, you need to take a break from these boards, figure out what you want & detach from your BF. You cannot be his friend in this state. All I see is you going down the same chesse tunnel, hitting a dead end & then going back to the beginning & choosing the same tunnel. Read that detaching poem, take the time & detach.

You are lying to him as well. You don't want him to have a good time with Helen. You want him to be miserable w/her & run back to you. He cannot talk to you about Helen, because you are not his friend you are his xGF. You need to set a boundary about what you talk about. His personal life, should be off limits. You cannot help him with that.

You are still burdening him with letting him control your happiness. Push through this & find your own happiness. C'mon Ali, you can do this