Glam I am sorry you are feeling so down and sad but very understandable given how H is behaving. Maybe you have been setting too much store by what you perceive as baby steps. None of us can know the outcome and 3 years is a long time to see no significant change.
You said
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Not so sure, how I can recover from this. Not feeling good about the direction we are headed.

How about feeling good about the direction YOU are headed?
What things is Glam going to be doing for Glam in 2009?