"this is the speculative bit - (W)introduces new OM to BIL and sil..."
A new OM or the original one ?
If this is a new OM then that puts you at best 3rd in the pecking order, I think you have done a good job as establishing yourself as a friend with W but maybe thats as far as it will go with W.
G, you've identified and demostrated a lot of your good qualities, maybe it's a good time to hang them out there and see who it attracts. At the moment you are a "given" for w, you ain't going anywhere, she knows you'll always be there, maybe you need to change this. Somtimes people want what they can't have, also I've read it so many times on these boards that once the LBS takes the steps to moving on the WAS starts to follow or want back in. You're doing a great job at the moment but maybe you should start to consider other possibilities.
