H just moved out, 13 months post-bomb

[Dawn of Hope]

Oh yeah, I wanted to add that I have been watching the Christmas cards coming in. We used to send them out every year, with individual notes in each one. During difficult times in our M we haven't sent them, so none have gone out for several years now. I haven't actually done a comparison, but I am sure there are a lot fewer cards arriving this year than in any previous year.

I can tell to a certain extent who does/doesn't know about H leaving by who has sent cards here (they have all been addressed to both of us so far). I know of certain people H has told about our sitch, and no cards have shown up from any of them. Others I wasn't sure if he had told or not, so I am seeing who sends a card to us here, and who doesn't that normally would. Interestingly enough, the first two cards to show up, a week or so into December, were from H's dad and brother, so I guess he really hasn't told them he's moved out (that's what he said, but I don't believe a word he says any more without corroborating evidence). I can't help but wonder what he told them about why I wasn't with him when he met with them for Thanksgiving, three days after he moved out. We have ALWAYS attended holiday family gatherings together since we got married, so this is a first.

I have probably spent more time composing this post than I have spent thinking about the topic otherwise, so I don't think I'm actually as hung up on this as it might seem, but it is a point of interest. I'm trying to figure out what to do about the few phone calls and mail that come in for him, without breaking NC. I guess I feel like if he really cared about this stuff, he would contact me...but it's also entirely possible that he figures I will contact him if I think it's something he needs to know about. Which is true, although I have raised the bar considerably for judging "what he needs to know about."

Oh, to hack with him. I'm just sick of thinking about him and what he has done or might be doing and how he has treated me.

Yep, not one of my better PMA days.

Peace,
Dawn