Oh the dilemma of trying to figure out how to respond to the absent spouse.
Sorry, but I see no dilemma here. What I see is SMW expressing her feelings and people are trying to help. SMW can take or leave all the advice she receives as she wishes.
SMW, I recently read an article on invalidation (of one's feelings), and these two statements stick with me - 1)"When we are invalidated by having our feelings repudiated, we are attacked at the deepest level possible, since our feelings are the innermost expression of our individual identities," and 2)"Each person's feelings are real. Whether we like or understand someone's feelings, they are still real."
Even though you are right, stating the facts of the matter can be invalidating, even when it's completely unintentional. When a person is expressing their feelings about an issue, telling them 'let's look at the facts' or 'here are the facts' is like telling this person that he/she is wrong for feeling the way they do.
It's intriguing to me. I'm learning a lot.
(((((((SMW)))))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
