Time for ME to change...scared as hell...

[theotherhalf]

Maybe this is why I am having such a hard time doing this...

I live my day to make someone smile. Or to tell a funny and someone will laugh. Today a old farmer and his son came into the store. They are regulars. I said "afternoon gentlemen". The old man stopped dead in his tracks and said something like "wow, what the heck, you don't hear that very often" and everyone laughed. I made that man smile. I just may have made his day. And yesterday a regular came in. I said "Ken, I don't know what stinks worse in the winter time, my cigerettes or your hog sh*t" He busted out laughing and everyone else did too.

That's TOH. It's what i do. It's who I am. I live my life to bring others joy, make someone smile, make someone laugh. Maybe thats why after all this time I still cannot get used to, accept, or enjoy being alone. I hate it. But not a damb thing I can do about it and it feels like it's killing me. I feel like I'm trapped in a world that I don't belong in and I can't find my way out.