Sweetie, detaching has nothing to do with money or bank accounts or whatever. It's your heart you have to detach with. Let him go. Realize that you are better without him. That he can't hurt you if you don't let him. Let go of the anger and the pain.
BBJ, he is the father of your kids, but he isn't a nice guy. He has treated you like crap. Lied to you. Put your health in danger. Let him go. You have so much going for you. You can do so much better.
Try this (it worked for me really well): Make a list of the good things this allows you to do. My list had stupid things like throwing away those d*mn little pillows on my bed. Losing the floral sheets. Eating out where I wanted. Etc, etc, etc.
My bed has GAINED those pillows in the past month... But NO florals, just neutral beige, khaki, and ocean blue. Wanted a beachy feel without actual beachy stuff (no palm trees, seashells, etc. just the color scheme).
So oddly enough earlier today I was thinking about my old HS b.f.--I saw him at the reunion and I know he lives in town. He was not married but the mother of his children pulled a walk-away a few months before I saw him at the reunion. Went to visit her mom out of state and never came back...poor guy.
Anyway I was thinking only pure and innocent thoughts about him earlier today :)....then I took the kids to the video store about 20 minutes ago and lo and behold he was there. Still very cute I might add. (He was football captain, homecoming king, etc etc and very very smart. However, he started having inappropriate convos. with an 8th grader when we were juniors. Actually told me six months after the fact that losing me taught him to be a better boyfriend ;)--when I found out about the 8th grader I dumped him on the spot. What happened to that BBJ? )
Anyway it was nice to see him again. Having a pleasant conversation with a man other than my H is rare for me, but nice to have once in a while...
I am off the wagon for running, gotta get back on it...just downloaded some songs today to boost my runs...
Had a talk w/MIL today, she called all Chipper Charlie and had the nerve at one point to ask me how it was going w/Dan. I couldn't do it anymore and I said, "I would imagine since you are helping him buy his new house that you know how it's going".
She acted all shocked and said she didn't loan him any money, etc etc. Said he told her he might borrow money from a cattle buddy friend but didn't tell her what for...(ok sure) Anyway she was adamant that she had no clue what I was talking about.
Talked to Dan 30 min later on the way to karate, I told him someone was lying to me and when it came to our money and how it would be spent and where it was coming from I didn't appreciate it (I did this very NO emotion). He fessed up that he DID tell his mom, SHE was the one lying, and said "I put her in a bad position". I said well if this is a happy new beginning to your life I still don't get the secrecy".
Must have touched a nerve he went off about it not being a happy new start, said he hated the situation, yada yada. I just said, "Well it is unfortunate that you hate the situation b/c you created it." And got off the phone.
He met us at karate and suggested in front of the kids that we go get brunch after, so we did. Then he took the kids in his truck and I came home. I am going to leave the cake Nate made for his dad and the birthday presents here and then I will head out soon, they are not back yet from "shopping". I assume he is having them get me a Christmas present...
But NO florals, just neutral beige, khaki, and ocean blue. Wanted a beachy feel without actual beachy stuff (no palm trees, seashells, etc. just the color scheme).
)