GoingForward, I am somewhat on your side of the fence regarding this.

IMHO, I really didn't think his email was that bad. I thought he had a valid reason for what he said. HOWEVER, SMW has a valid reason for thinking the same thing. soooooo, there's the cycle. They are both doing the same thing to each other, albeit he started it first.

So I told SMW I was glad that she has chosen to respond to his emails, as I think it is the polite and courteous thing to do, and I would expect, or like my H to do the same to me. Or anyone for that matter.

Now, I like the direct and to the point, however, I really feel there is a lack of personableness (I cannot for the life of me figure out a word to use, that's all I could come up with) And if I were her H, I would take this email that SMW is annoyed/mad and is done being nice. Now, if that is what she wants him to think, then I think, okay cool, now let's see what happens.

However, as I mentioned to her in an email, that when I was dealing with my H, I wanted him to see me as happy, having fun, enjoying life, and enjoying him when he was enjoyable, and not letting his action affect me. I wanted him to think that I was capable of going on alone and being just fine and happy without him, but not that I was upset or mad at him. Now he DID know that I did not approve of his A, and in fact I despised his choices, but I wasn't going to let it affect my own happiness. If he wanted to screw up his life, then so be it, I'll be making my own life.

anyways, since he is gone, he is unable to see SMW GALing, having fun, living a life. So, the only things he sees (unless other people are telling him things) are these emails. If they are nonresponsive, or even just "okay" emails, then how will this show him she has changed and the new life she is enjoying?

Does this make sense? I understand the concept of going dark and all. I just never used it. Perhaps, if my sitch had lasted much longer, I may have, but I think I would still make my emails sound like his choices didn't bother me (unless it was a boundary issue) and that I was having a fun life.

sorry SMW if I wasn't speaking directly to you. \:\)

love ya, and you just take my opinions however you want.

Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006
H erased OW off phone! 2/2007

"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."