Matilda, I appreciate yours and Aud's perspective.
I asked my W the other night what she was doing to improve herself as a person. She did not have an answer.
Yes, my W is a blaming, externalizing, defensive, person. How do you manage your D18? Any tips for me?
Aud asked me what I should do differently. I guess my compassion goal is not different, but a continuation, though an ideal to aspire to.
I think what can be different, is to not buy into the idea that if only I were a better husband, than my W would be happy. She often states that I've failed her, or that I disappoint her, and that it hurts her feelings. I don't have to buy into that.
Aud used the term fussy to describe my W. I looked it up in the dictionary, and decided it hit the nail on the head--an overemphasis on irrelevant detail.
Thanks Aud and Matilda. Your perspectives will help me to not take everything she says at face value, and to not try to fix the M myself.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
