My instinct is, whatever is/isnt going on with him, the reality is, he has chosen to move in with a new gf and holiday with her parents in Ireland. He may realise his mistake, it may not last, he may miss you.. all these things are possible, so as long as you dont fall out, and stay in some contact, then I guess you may have a chance with him in the future, IF this R doesnt work out. Thats how I view my sitch. What else can you do?
My friend says the biggest factor for having an R with someone, is proximity (did he meet OW at work, like my ex did?) but that rings true for us too.. if you still love him and hold onto some hope, then you have to be in his proximity in some respect? But for now... I think we have to let them go.
I agree his text sounded nicer, maybe he feels slightly less awkward after it went well and you did such a good job when you saw him last time! So he will call tommorow.. whats he calling about? Estate agents? It doesnt sound like he *wants * to meet up, so I would say dont push for a meeting?
You are doing amazingly well Julia, you have such grace and fortitude through all of this, you are an inspiration to me! I am like a wet wallowy thing, wallowing in what-ifs compared to you!
Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I'm quite surprised... I thought he meant it.. he did say he was mega busy though didnt he, and have christmas do's and that? Did he also say he is away tommorow?
It is like past behaviour when we were first split up and the month before he left. I feel like his last priority, everything else comes above me. Work, Christmas parties etc. I thought he might phone out of respect but I am sure he is too busy as you said. I don't think it is done out of spite, just the way it is now.
Do I call him on it or leave it? If he is 'up at his parents' there is no reason why he can't call me next week or at the weekend. Of course if he is with ow, he may not be able to. Should i text him and say
'I guess you were busy today. How about we chat next week, I can call you on Monday. It would be good to know what the estate agents said so I can have a chance to think about it over the Christmas break.'
or, as usual, should I wait and see if he contacts me.
That's a bit pants- I'm a bit surprised he didn't call as I thought he wanted to get things moving with the house. Maybe not as much as he gave the impression he did.
Personally I'd leave things- he was the one who needed to call and discuss it with you, so I think he still should. I don't know- do you think that sending the text would help? What do you hope to acheive by sending it? Could you wait to get the information after Christmas at all? Lots of questions. Sorry.
BTW, I know it feels like you're his last priority right now. I just wanted to say that given where he is on his journey, he probably can't face you and not face his guilt at his own behaviour. I know you won't be taking it personally, but wanted to point that out just as a teeny reminder.
I was taking it personally, a cheeseless tunnel I thought I'd shut down in the summer. Thank you
I suppose I want to send the text to make some kind of point... that I'm pissed off/ he should have more respect/ I should be his number 1. Hmmmm all pointless and unachievable at the moment I suspect. I'm generally cross and fed up with the situation at the moment so maybe it is good to not have the phone call - maybe I need the break from him to over Christmas. However, I would like to know for myself though what the estate agents said but hey, I suppose I can wait.
Generally though, I suspect going on past evidence he was busy and can't multi-task. Probably today was manic and stressful and he didn't get a chance before going wherever he was going and now maybe doesn't know what to say. Maybe I'll get a text in the next few days, maybe not...
I have been reading your posts. You sound like you are doing amazingly. I always think that detaching is like riding a bike... someone could describe how to balance for hours, but its not until you are up and riding that you 'get it'. And of course there are always a few speed wobbles, but I think you've got it and I'm so pleased for you.
Any more progress on kiwi boy from choir? (sorry i love a bit of goss!)
Merry Christmas JCJ. I hope that you 'survive' the festive season! And I really hope that 2009 is a special year for you - a year where you challenge yourself and reap the rewards. I know good things are coming your way. Thanks for your support and advice and friendship on my thread. Look after yourself and spoil yourself rotten! xx
Just winding down with a stiff rum & coke ..... always makes things better.