trying to be strong & patient 10

[karen43]

Horrible day today! Spent this am at the dentist for an appt. for teeth cleaning for S15 and I. H insisted on showing up (guess b/c he wants to get primary custody still). D9 was sitting there and while I was there he was on his Blackberry or reading a book. If he actually gave a rat's patootie over the kids it wouldn't drive me so nuts. Then he gave me the check for the kids and I (support/alimony). Unfortunately, banks hold banks from other checks for 2 or 3 days so I had to drive to his bank to cash it, then take a large chunk of cash over to my bank to deposit it. And this is going to happen every 2 weeks.

Dumb me, I emailed H and asked him if he would consider switching to my bank or getting the payroll dept. at his office (he's a state employee) to direct deposit it into my account. He emailed back "how you cash it is your business." So i emailed back it seems a bit inefficient to do the way we are doing and is typically done thru direct deposit. I also snarkily said sorry I thought you were actually concerned about the kids and groceries and stuff for them or I wouldn't have emailed. I don't think he gives a crap for the kids as well as me really. Yes, yes, I know I should have realized this sooner...

Went to the L's again this pm to get a copy of an order. I need a vacation from my life! Karen

[kat727]

Sweetie, once you are actually divorced, they will garnish his wages for the child support and possibly alimony. Here in Kansas they can't take more than half of his net due to garnishment, so he has to pay the difference for alimony which he is behind on. Then I set up direct deposit with the state. I get the funds about 10 days after he is paid because his employer takes their sweet old time and then the state processes it. hopefully it is a bit more efficient in Florida especially since he works for the state.

hugs. kat

[lovelyolive]

H insisted on showing up (guess b/c he wants to get primary custody still). D9 was sitting there and while I was there he was on his Blackberry or reading a book. If he actually gave a rat's patootie over the kids it wouldn't drive me so nuts.

Oh Karen.. I am VERY familiar with this type of behavior. Our stbxh's put on this front to look good. Unfortunately, they haven't been doing this stuff all along!

[karen43]

I think he just tries to pi** me off with the Blackberry too. You know how he used to text OW in front of me so much? He was in the house seriously for about a minute tonight to pick up the kids (D9 was changing clothes as we just got back from art club) and had to use his Blackberry in front of me in my house. Plus, he's in a cranky mood, and then got upset that S15 just lost his new sneakers. So glad I don't have to deal with all his moods anymore. If the poor kids didn't have to drag everything from his to my place, they wouldn't be losing stuff as much! He won't even fork out money for a toothbrush or pillow for them! I'm thinking about just buying them an extra pillow and toothbrush and stuff like that for H's apt. I mean I guess that's anti-DB getting stuff for the kids to use at H's house,but just makes sense to not have to carry all that back & forth. Ok, I think I've whined enough for the night! Karen

[kat727]

If he doesn't already have that stuff for the kids at this place it won't look so good for him in front of the judge. Maybe you could shoot that little dart his way. Don't do it for him. This is the mess he created. Your stuff stays at your place, end of story.

kat

[kat727]

So how was working for the crazy lady? Did you at least like this job? Let us know.

kat

[karen43]

It was fine. I shelved some books and moved a little furniture around. She closed early so I only worked a couple hours. It's fine, but there weren't any actual customers there today and the book shop that was in the same spot before closed for lack of business, so think that might happen to her also. She's really nice though. She's having a cookie exchange party tomorrow which I'm going to go to, and I have another Christmas party at the pastor's tomorrow.

I got all the kids' stocking stuffers today. Geez, I spent tons of money and it's all going to fit in a couple of stockings. D9 brought home a Xmas gift from her and S15 for me. Of course H was behind that. I'm guessing either a whistle or flute or something like that or maybe another black velvet painting??? But reminds me I need to have the kids buy something for him also. He's going to pick them up Tues. so I will try to do tomorrow. It'll be a group gift from the 2 kids, but I don't know what to get!!! They don't have any ideas either! What do you get for a WAS/WAD??? Karen

[kat727]

How about his own flute toy to play with? lol Just being snarky. I don't know. The kids haven't asked me and I haven't given it much thought. Remember I gave him movie and socks for his birthday. I just don't know. I gave up my marriage...wasn't that enough?

kat

[karen43]

How about his own flute toy to play with? lol Just being snarky. I don't know. The kids haven't asked me and I haven't given it much thought. Remember I gave him movie and socks for his birthday. I just don't know. I gave up my marriage...wasn't that enough?

kat

Well, even though I am going to buy/pick out a gift it's really from the kids to H. When they get a little older, I'll leave it up to them though. The gift will clearly say D9 and S15 on it, but you know when you get the gift from them it's really from the other parent at this point since they would never do it on their own yet, well at least mine. I'm kind of surprised H bothered/was thoughtful enough to get me a gift from the kids really. But I guess I always do the same for him on birthday/Christmas and have the past year also. Karen

[kat727]

I know. I will probably do something. I guess it can't be what I am doing maybe I will have the kids make him something. You are such a nice person. love you!

kat