Partner left after 9 years - now what?

[GFI]

Well - folks - I don't really want to stir up any more confusing thoughts for you Ali - I post this in the hope that Ali, you will take time to look at this objectively,

If it were me - and I was wrapped up in a new relationship and was very much into it and knew that exGF was very much hoping to find a way of reconciling yet I didn't want that - sending a pressie and card and phoning is the very last thing I would do...knowing that likely it would simply add to the massive confusion going on...

It is possible to look at this in all sorts of different ways - and its very very difficult and admittedly wrong for us to start speculating about the motivation of exBF - so Ali - IMO the thing to think about is how you feel about this and to take a view on it...to put it out there for what you think it is...and then find a way of dealing with the Christmas hols...Ali - it might be the right view or the wrong view but you need a way of dealing with it - you're closest to this sitch- you have more information than anyone here...what do you think?

have that view, in that horrible management speak "own it" and then "Then tell us how you are doing to deal with Christmas for YOU!"

And I'd like to throw something else in...Ali - you spend an awful lot of time on this board - and we all understand that - we all do - we get a lot of support from DB friends in similar estranged circumstances - but there are some dangers of us denying ourselves the opportunity to move on and deal with our lives in the real wide world - the thing that is often seen here to be the most positive thing in achieving our ends...an irony in itself ...

And I understand the value of venting, sharing, purging - whatever...Ali - with the very very best of intentions in my heart - I challenge you to stay off this board tomorrow - just tomorrow - sort something out for yourself...enjoy the day! Really really enjoy the day for you!!! Then come back on Sunday...:)

One of your close poster friends refers to Alianalysis...Ali - give yourself a break - you really really deserve it!

Best - GFI