I'm sorry you're suffering so much. Your sadness, rage and despair are all part of this. It will end. I know it doesn't feel that way but it is ending for me and the relief is incredible. Letting go the rope is so freeing and the time will come for you too.
Regarding Sunday,you are a strong woman with a healthy sense of pride, if you feel confident that you can handle it in a way that retains your self-respect, then be there. Otherwise, do whatever is best for you. In the big picture it won't make any difference. All that makes a difference right now is doing what is best for you.
