Ohhh.. I see, but then, wasnt he saying something about making out to them it was for a rental?? I thought thats what you meant, like he was fibbing to them and making out it was an investment property !??
Makes me soooo mad the way MIL support the WAS. It happened in my sitch too.. she never once said to him, talk to her, go to MC, are you sure.. just accepted it.. Grrr also !!! At MILs!
He does seem to be.. waffling? Is that what they call it? Its so wierd, he hangs out MORE like you say. I dont get it Bobbi, we are all following along and it seems like he doenst know what the hell he is doing, which could be true !
Yes, he talks like he is waffling, he does the confused tortured soul dance very well. However I am looking at actions.
*He is here at night to see the KIDS not me.
*He has already gone and bought a home to live in.
*He had never shown me with actions that he wants to be with me, only with words that don't match his actions.
He would have to do a lot more to sway me. I have done the load carrying way too long. The burden would be on him to ever convince me I could trust him. He just lied to me 3-4 days ago, saying he hadn't looked at the house yet while knowing he had an appointment for the very next morning. Although it isn't technically a lie--he hadn't looked at it yet--he knew full well his plan and he kept it from me. Not acceptable.
That part (anger) would be easier if the kids already knew and he was in his own house. It is this prolonged cake-eating Dan-centered lifestyle that is driving me nuts.
He said he only got 5 minutes sleep the night before last b/c he was worried about Nathan.
Then last night he drove to his mom and dad's (starting to wonder if he ever stayed with tom)and there was 2/3" of ice on everything. I asked him to text/let me know he made it safely.
He texted at 6:30 this morning, "Sorry for the late text I made it but went right to bed". So I guess he slept just fine last night. Whatever...
I really want to go put my half of savings in a new account this afternoon. I know it will totally piss him off as he asked me to wait until his loan goes through. But he is manipulating everything to make it easiest for him. Getting the loan with all of our finances in consideration, waiting to tell the kids until he has his house bought and ready to go, not filing until the new year, etc etc
Would moving my money out now be the smart, self-protecting thing to do or just a spiteful thing to do? Would 10 days really matter? Just wondering
I don't think it would make any difference what account the savings are in from the mortgage standpoint. Since you are still married, anything in either name would still count, I expect. On the other hand, since he didn't tell them about that account, since it didn't exist, they might not see the money. I understand why you want to do it. I'm not worried about him getting upset, but do you want to risk slowing down his getting the house?
I think it is probably best to get the mortgage done before filing. I think that once he files, that kind of puts a freeze on all accounts and would make it much more difficult to get the mortgage.
That is the whole point. The reason he won't tell anyone that he wants to divorce me is b/c he wants to get the mortgage first. To me, that is totally disrespectful and using me for his benefit. If he wants the divorce, he should have filed and then figured out housing. If he didn't qualify for a mortgage at that point, then I guess that is a consequence of his actions, isn't it?
I just get really annoyed that he is able to plan his entire escape at his leisure. Why SHOULDN'T he struggle to get a loan? The only good reason is so I know my kids have someplace to live when they aren't with me, other than on Tom's floor...
