Hi Everyone, Yesterday was my first time posting to the forum and got great advice. I hope to return such wonderful advice to other members of the forum.
So yesterday H and I talked and he mentioned that he does miss me and the home. But then he started to talk about a lot of stuff but then about how bad it makes him feel me calling hin son a bastard, and his son is innocent in all this. Yes, I did call him that and I know that its wrong but like I told H I said those things out of hurt. And right after that last night I saw that members told me that I need to change that and have LOTS to do with H's son. So it got me to thinking about my part in all this and what I need to change as well. I will admit that I have said some terrible things about H's son and I prayed about it last night b/c I realized that I have actually grown to hate the child (terrible to say but true) and it's really not his fault even though OW uses the child has her weapon. In my head I know its wrong of me but in my heart I do have a lot of resentment. I even told H last night that I do regret that he's here but I know he's here and he needs to be loved and cared for. Anyway, so now I'm thinking that some, not all, of the blame for where we are now is partly my fault too. Although H has no right being with OW and that has made things worst off for us. I think H wants to come back home and I want him back home to but we need to resolve how we will handle this and we both don't trust each other: I don't trust him to not go back to OW and he doesn't trust that he can have me and his son.
So my question is how should I proceed with this? I was thinking during this separation I need to begin to give H indications that I will not prevent him from having his son too if he comes back home. But then I still want H to learn to respect me and I don't want to make it too easy for him. B/c he has really done some real disrespectful and inconsiderate things in the name of his son.
Should I even be the one to give in or it is really up to H to let me know that he wants the marriage? I don't to give the impression that I'm the only one making compromises. Any suggestions would be great. I really appreciate it.
