Partner left after 9 years - now what?

[Trixi]

((Ali))
Of course it hurts. I'm so sorry. And I don't have any happy, rose-colored glasses thoughts.
It seems as if he clearly knows you still love him (what with all the "Sorry Al"s he gives you) and he doesn't want to rub it in your face that he is with someone else.

I have admired your desire to want to be friends with him because I know for me, there is NO WAY I could be friends with my H if he was seeing someone. I would want to be free to move on and heal. Having him as a friend when I clearly have 'more than friend' feelings would be torture. Maybe you could use a break from the idea of "friends"? Not to say you couldn't EVER be friends-- but maybe not now.

I think he *wishes* you would be okay with the situation, and on occassion it would seem like you are, but deep down he knows you aren't 'fine' with things. He still cares enough about you to not be cruel and flaunt his relationship. And it might not be all that and a bag of chips; but trying to guess is doing you no good.

Take good care of yourself. Start to focus all the energy dedicated to worrying about his well-being and turn it towards yourself. You deserve to be cared for. You deserve to have a man move mountains to be with you. Drop the rope completely. Forget where you even put it. And focus on YOU!