If his parents want to make the money look like a gift, that will be easy enough. Unless the numbers have changed, each of them can give him $10,000 in a year. And each could give you that much, too, if it came to that.
Don't worry too much about his trouble there. It is his trouble.
I think it might be a good idea to talk to a lawyer though. The sooner you can get assets separated, at least on paper, the more protected you will be from his idiocy!
Go to a lawyer and get a separation agreement put together. I have a bad feeling Dan is going to do something stupid. The speed he went and bought a house and the approach he is taken is causing me to see all sorts of flashing red lights.
I did the exact same things as Dan. Exact. I am not out of my mind, I am financially savvy. My Dad gave me 10K to put down, I said it was mine, it appearted in my bank account the day before, they didnt care where it came from. They wont look into it. The point of a mortgage is your ability to meet the monthly payment, so they wull look at your past credit history, your wages your employment dates, thats all.
I also claimed I was buying it for rental (but wasnt) it meant it was faster/easier to get the mortgage, got it on projected rental income, not my own.
I agree there is a chance he used your salary as well to up his amount he is borrowing and therefore you WOULD have to sign the mortgage papers, otherwise, you shouldnt have to I dont think? (shouldnt matter that you are M). But you have to submit payslipse in that case, so if he hasnt asked you to, it cant be that.
I'm just saying, its not that big a deal what he has done. My BFF is high up at a bank in mortgages, she says this stuff happens all the time, peoples cicumstances change, people move in/out of properties, rent, not rent etc, all they care about, is your likely financial risk on paper.. i.e: the likelihood of you defaulting on a payment. Once you have the house, you just have to keep paying monthly.
If he already has loans for tractors etc and is keeping up with those payments, he will have good credit.
I am not sure why you keep beating him round the head to go public and tell people? Is that counterproductive, or are you really done with this guy !? You are so strong !
Oh.. yeah should clarify, I meant, its not that big a deal what he did in terms of the morgage company.. but I totally agree with M.. he's doing this whilst still M to you, so thats really wierd isnt it, as it is a marital debt and would affect the D if he goes tht far, but I dont know how all that side of things works??
Sounds like you have no choice about telling people, like you say, as its a small town and people will notice. Why is your MIL being so wierd!? I cant tell from your posts.. but does she actually know you are S, or not!??
The reason I am 'beating him about the head' about it is simple:
He is living in a sheltered, fantasy land and it pisses me off.
If he is so eager to be out on his own, why isn't he shouting it from the rooftops? You read about plenty of WAWs on here who make no secret of what they are doing. Why is he?
I told him last night that he should be confident/sure of himself and not ashamed of his decision, it is HIS decision! He did the whole thing about not being proud, not being happy and not even being sure of it.
Well, sorry. When you decide to walk away from your family, it means you WALK AWAY. You don't play happy family every free minute you have. Since this came about, a month or so ago, he has spent more time with the kids than he ever did before. He is home 5-6 nights a week. WTF. He should be out looking for furniture and packing his crap not snuggling on my couch with the kids...
