Maybe I should be in piecing part 5?

[Hope4us]

Hey Peeps.

Just plugging along. W and I have been doing lots together, enjoying each other's company. She seems to be more and more engaged. A significant number of "thank you's" and "please's" from her.

I've noticed that she's beginning to make some body contact with me. No hugs or anything like that, but just little brushes, etc that she doesn't have to make. I wonder if it's because I've completely pulled back from initiating any contact with her?

Up until a number of weeks ago I would periodically hug her, put my hand on her leg while we were in the car, etc. But I stopped that right about Thanksgiving. And the last week or so I've noticed she's starting to initiate some contact.

It just seems like the fog is burning off more and more. One night a week ago I was on the phone with her while I was out of town for work and at the end of the conversation I could have sworn she was about ready to say the big ILY....but she didn't. The last few nights we've spent together there were times when I thought the same thing, but she didn't.

Don't know if I'm deluding myself there, but I don't think so. She's talking more and more about future stuff. The other night we were decorating our Christmas Tree and S16 said something to W about it being cold out and W said she'd love to be in Florida right now and S16 said "why don't you just move?" W said we'd never find jobs that pay as well as we're paid now and S16 said "Why don't you move there when you guys retire?" and W said "That sounds like a good idea to me". She's also made comments about stuff WE should do together next Christmas, talking about summer vacations, etc so it seems like she's thinking more and more long term US, but she's still not ready to talk/work through this stuff.

But I'm in a good place. I've found myself ok with moving on without her if she can't give me what I need to heal from this mess. I've found myself ok with moving on if she's not ready to face her part in all this.

Maybe she senses this in me and she's realizing she doesn't want that to happen.

We have our Christmas party at the house tomorrow night so we've been busy planning and shopping for that. Last night we did some shopping and also bought some stuff for W to make a breakfast casserole to take into work today. When we got home we made it together, laughing and having fun while we did.

Maybe my theory was correct that once she was not in her normal office that the triggers for OM wouldn't be there and she'd get through WD even more. It's been 4 weeks since she moved offices and there's been a steady change in her since.

I apologize for not being around much. Been really busy with work and stuff at home, but I'm thinking about everyone and try to check in when I can.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.