Whew, I've now read your sitch.... how difficult and painful for you. Big hugs.
Matrimonial breakdown laws are very different where I live. Unless the fault divorce will bring you loads more cash, a no-fault divorce would be easier on your soul.
In any event, at the moment, I think you would be wise to focus on protecting assets, dividing accounts, etc. That's what you're going to have to live on, not the satisfaction of proving your h's scandalous behaviour, if your marriage is not reconciled.
If it's possible where you live to have an interim separation agreement specifying who pays what, then perhaps you should get one in place asap. I don't practice family law, but these are some of the basics usually recommended to protect particularly the more vulnerable spouse. What are your rights to what we here would call the matrimonial home? You may want the interim separation agreement to specify that you have exclusive possession for the time being. That should be addressed in the interim separation agreement as well. And if you're concerned about him clearing the house out, get the locks changed asap, particularly since you are going away for the holidays.
With an ow like that in the picture, it's hard to know what she might coach your h to do. I love your idea about having a consult with her attorney since that will conflict him out of helping her or your h in this situation. Very strategic thinking on your part!
