here comes the sun.,...It will be alright

[Dr LOve]

Uh, I haven't been a WAS...

As for most WASs, they mostly WALK and don't take the time to reflect, try, and then figure out what they want. So, I guess that means your W is not a WAS.

I stand corected

Your impatience is due to the fact that W is not on your timetable. That is her choice. YOUR choice is to be responsible for your own timetable. Decide what you will/won't accept in terms of timetables and then REPORT that.

understood

Are you in IC?

Nope.. W thinks it's a waste of time

[oldtimer]

So what? Why should W's view on IC decide whether you see an IC or not?

[Sara]

Because she does need IC. She is the one who sleeps on the floor in her son's room, she is the one who doesn't want sex but doesn't articulate a reason. She is the one who rejects the life she has but doesn't move on to another life either because this one is comfortable or because she has no better options. And she is the one who rejects change out of hand. Doc has morphed himself time and again to please her. She stays sour.

[Dr LOve]

OT.

I have gone to two different ones. The first one Right after it happened. My doctor sent me because of depression. All he wanted to do was make sure I was not suicidal.
The second one I went to seemed pissed off that I was doing the DB stuff like acting like "as if" and GALing... She wanted me to demand that wife stop all contact with the OM. That I contact the OM and tell him to back off. And to tell my wife if things don't stop NOW then we should get a divorce because she was "disrespecting me".


SARA,sara sara....

Thanks, (you might want to skip the coffee this morning LOL)

This is what I am afraid of most on both my wife's part AND mine..

She is the one who rejects the life she has but doesn't move on to another life either because this one is comfortable or because she has no better options.

She has been acting really "sisterly" these last few days. Something weird happened last night when I came home for dinner before going to my mom's for the night..

(History)
You see my Wife is 5 years older than me. She went to the High school across town from mine.. (Rivals). The weird thing is that I was dating this girl Also 5 years older than me. I later found out that she also went to the same rival high school. After I met my Wife and started dating her also. I found out that they were in the same classes and were Rivals, enemies, in competition, in another words did not like each other in high school.
Well I had to make a choice and well I chose my wife (mistake? I will never know).

Anyway fast forward last night at dinner. (Just me and wife at table) Wife says...
Wife: Your “EX girlfriends" Mom died.
ME: Who?
Wife: You’re ex girlfriend Diane XXXXXXXXXX

Wife then reads obit..
Me: Colfax I thought she moved to Nevada after we broke up.
Wife: Nope it says Colfax
Wife: the viewing in Friday and the funeral is Saturday


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Wife also told me she only has one for final and then she is done....

Later
Doc

[oldtimer]

Sara,

Sure, Doc's W could probably benefit from IC. But I don't follow you. How does her unwillingness to see an IC bear on whether Doc would benefit from seeing an IC?

Doc,

It sounds like you saw two ICs that didn't work for you. Perhaps it is time to try to find a better match. If you are trying to punish W for not seeing an IC by not seeing an IC yourself, all you are really doing is punishing yourself.

[saffie]

OT,

Money is an issue here to. In an ideal world I expect Doc would carry on searching for an IC that could help....but at the moment money has to go on bills and surviving.....as it does for many.

Doc, I am around and still reading....I just am going through a bit of a rough patch and tonight I have my H's Christmas do....and if you remember, that always sends me a bit off the rails.

I will responds soon I promise.

[Dr LOve]

Doc, I am around and still reading....I just am going through a bit of a rough patch and tonight I have my H's Christmas do....and if you remember, that always sends me a bit off the rails.

I will responds soon I promise.

I understand. Take care of yourself lady.

Doc

[Dr LOve]

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you everyone think I should

[Dr LOve]

I think I can relate to what a "battered" spouse goes through.. NOT the physical pain.. But knowing things are not right. Things need to change but being afraid of what this change will mean.Knowing that if you just sit and put up with stuff that at least most of the time things are calm. Knowing that as soon as you stand up and say NO MORE. your life will change compleatly.but we are afraid about what that change will bring. The unknown. Fear of the unknown is why we stay. It may suck but this is the life we know.

sorry just thoughts running through my mind

Doc

[fightingirish]

Doc,

I want to respond to your emails, but want to think about what you have written. So give me some time.

I did want to tell you I hear you, and I know where your at.

I won't be on the boards for a couple of days, so I wanted to wish a Merry Christmas and I hope its a happy one.

((((((doc)))))