I don't think I have posted to you before but I read your post and it rang so true with me and my situation at the moment.
My h has as little to do with me as possible and has ow. We don't have children and all communication is about financial stuff at the moment. I don't really have any advice I just wanted to empathize. I'm glad you put your foot down re the kids, be consistant with that now and you did a great job in waiting and acting as if over the phone call.
I also know there is nothing I can do with my h anymore, and I am much more resigned but still somewhere seem to have hope, I don't know why. This sucks hey, but you seem strong.
