Hey, (((Kalni mou)))!

Starting tomorrow, my comp will be gone (I hate comps and they hate me back!), so it's my last chance to post an update, at least for a while.

I saw H twice and I spoke with him 3 or 4 times since we told our D17 and I asked him not to call me, unless it's emergency. So far he was able to come up with 4 "emergencies", 2 of them required a visit.
He could easily come over and pick up the stuff he needed when I wasn't home, he still has the key. Instead, he arranged it
so that we could see each other (I don't think it could be just a coincidence). Last time when he came he started right away, still at the door step: how I wish I've never done all that... I would want nothing more than us still together \:o . Well, I was in a good and light mood, so I replied quite naturally (it came to me naturally, I didn't have a moment to think)and jokingly: come back then!
To which he replied by muttering something unintellible, things like: it's so complicated now, I wish I knew what to do, well, usual. I just ignored it and left it at that. He said he was in a hurry but when I offered some tea, he stayed, and I had to remind him that it's time to go.
Last time he called, after giving me some news (bad news) about our financial sitch, he started telling me about the book he's reading and before I could utter a word, he was reading me from the book. Assuming: he cannot TALK to her and misses our conversations. I know this may be far fetched, but I can sense it.
My show is closing today and I have a small finissage for friends. H is going to come over. He also called a couple of friends and invited them over. Whatever, I remain detached NO MATTER WHAT.
He also told me that he wrote a long letter to D17, but then he completely "melted down" (his words) and erased the letter. Instead he sent her a short e-mail: this will end well, you'll see, or something similar. Of course, she didn't reply.
I spoke with her several times, she sounds better now. She says she doesn't want to speak with H yet (she ADORED him all her life, he couldn't do wrong) and she'll NEVER meet or speak with OW. She also told me to pack my things, take my cat and come to stay with her (in her tiny room) \:\) .
She also said the cutest thing ever: mom, you should come and we should go on dates together \:D . I'm seriously considering it!

(((HUGS))) and

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all.

I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders
____________________________________________________
M 46
H 45
D 17
M/T 23
Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06
Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07
Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08