Not much to report today. No contact in two days+. I really miss her so much. I wonder if I ever cross her mind, in a good way. I leave for Virginia to visit some family for the holidays next Tuesday. She was supposed to contact me so we can meet up before then and discuss a couple of things like bills, the house and such. I am not sure that she will call. I won't call her. Does it maybe seem like she hates me because she still loves me? I know that sounds weird but she seems so cold and I think that maybe sometimes it is a defense mechanism. I think she is battling in her head about what is wrong and right, what she wants and doesn't want, her sins and regrets but she doesn't want to show me any chance of hope. Maybe I am just giving myself false hope. Where the hell did my wife go?!??!??!?!
Sorry I am just venting. Patience is absolutely necessary at this point. You are right Sooners, she will be analyzing every little thing I do. I talked to her roomate today. She said that my wife said that I was an a$$ for speeding away like I did the other night. I will not do that again. I need to show no emotions except for love, understanding and happiness with myself. I also need to get out more and GAL. I need to make some serious New Years plans! Her roomate also said that my wife seemed excited about changing her name. Ouch! Stay positive....stay positive.....
M 27 W 26 M 4.5 Years T 6 years Bomb Oct. '08; "ILYBIANILWY", "You don't fit into my life", "Our marriage had to have been a mistake because it is not working".
