FLTC, you wrote: "we've know each other for 20 years, and have always had fun. I know a lot about her already. The breaking point for me was in 2007, leaving for Iraq, my kids wrapped around me crying, my STBXW, DID NOT even say goodbye. She just sat in the car. THAT'S when I moved on. Another factor with "gym woman" is the mutual feeling of this. We spent a whole day just talking (and other stuff!) about where we were in life, and what we wanted and what was important. You're right, though, YOU NEVER KNOW, but my moving on, has been going on for a long time, even without finding someone else." Now, as you know, during the last days of my M I met someone who "blew my socks off", yes we too sat and talked for hours and I thought that maybe despite all this Hell there really was a light at the end of the tunnel. I told myself that my M had been over for years and connecting with someone else was just the ticket, especially a real beauty with brains and a load of empathy. It made me realize what it was like to spend time with a woman who actually enjoyed talking with me! She listened to me, cried for me and then shared her story just to show me that "no matter how bad it gets, it will always get better". I was sure that eventually we would be an item. Everyone else on the planet thought we'd end up together, even my STBX who said "why don't you two cut the crap and start dating like normal people, you're not just coffee pals"! Now, that all said, I put myself in a situation that is certainly different than you have and also dug my own grave BUT when my friend ditched my ass without warning I was pretty unhinged about it. I was still nursing my wounds from a 17 year M that went down the toilet, I was hurting and was in no place to handle another rejection no matter how reasonable and understandable it may have been. Don't overestimate your healing right now, newly separated guys on this board are notorious for seeing reality a little differently than it really is. We want so badly to be validated, to feel like men again that we convince ourselves that we are ready to move on. I've seen it over and over again and I include myself in that observation. The more you share and connect the more vulnerable you are. I'm not saying don't do it, I hate to always sound like the wet blanket but just be real careful and don't overestimate what you can handle right now, OK? Otherwise, have a great time!
but just be real careful and don't overestimate what you can handle right now, OK? Otherwise, have a great time! 
