Thank you for visiting me- it's always nice to see you!
H and I have exchanged a few e-mails this week. He seems to have forgotten that 18 months have passed- he was shocked that N8 and N3 are now 8 and 3, and not 6 and 1, and that our two god-daughters have aged aswell. He talked very positively about them and asked me to hug them all for him. He also mentioned a few times that he feels fat. Very odd because there's no way H could ever be considered fat- he has the figure of David Tennant.
We're going to meet for a drink tomorrow. It was a bit of a faff arranging it- H was busy most evenings this week and I was busy most days. The drink will be quick and I'm not sure I want to go as he'll be going to the aubergine afterwards, so we'll see what happens. Nothing is definite yet.
I went to CEOs house on Tuesday (without him- to see the builder) on Tuesday before the concert. The next day, he came to ask me what I thought of the progress and the new fittings. We had a nice conversation about it. Later yesterday evening we exchanged a couple of short e-mails as I have today and tomorrow off. I didn't reply to the last message he sent ("Don't be daft!"), and then this morning I got another message from him saying "I meant to say and forgot, but have a good break and I'll see you next week". There's something that works- being girly and then ignoring him.
Anyway, when I got his message this morning I'd just been thinking about him so I replied (and K, I hope I went far enough!) "That's funny, I was just thinking about you. Yes, see you next week- I'm looking forward to a Christmas party replacement drink!".
Austin thought that was enough, and since she knows him I'm inclined to agree. He's a pursuer and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't appreciate an out and out declaration. We'll see, anyway.
Originally Posted By: Kalni
Sometimes, we want what we cant have, what has been refused to us, we love what we had, our memories, our broken dreams. I dont know how often it is to rebuild that connection. It seems very difficult to me. And in my case, there are 2 kids and no obvious OW, living together etc... Are you sure you could handle the reconciliation process? Sorry I am so bold, but I want to share with you what I have been learning...
(((K))) Thankyou for thinking of me and saying this. I don't know how I might feel about the reconciliation process, but I do know that I can't walk away from this now. H is changing. I don't know how quickly that's going to finish, or whether it WILL finish, or whether it'll be permanent, but for now I'm not ready to make a final decision on things.....if H asks for a second chance, we'll see then. I'm watching and seeing how things are for you, and am taking notes (scientist-like). And keeping on carefully walking my tightrope. This probably makes no sense, but I think I'll know when I'm ready to decide, and as we've discussed before, when I decide it will be a permanent decision.....
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
