Hi Everyone, So sorry that we are all here trying to DB, but so glad that I found this site as well. I'm looking for any advice I can get. I'm actually not sure a newbie dealing with this problem but have been feeling like my situation is hopeless.
Here's my story... H and I have been together for 14+ years, married for 4+ years. Two weeks before we got married he found out OW was pregnant. He of course didn't tell me, we got married and when his son was 7months I found out in 2005. He then left me for like 5 weeks b/c "he needed time to think" and moved with OW and son. Throughout this time I kept saying that I wanted my marriage to work and I waited on him to come back home. I remember the pain of those 5 weeks like yesterday. So when he came back he was still seeing OW although he said he was only there for his son. Then in Jan 2006 I moved out and moved from the city to the suburbs to prove that I don't want to live that way. But I still left the door open and H was spending nights with me. Yes, he's a total cake eater. In April 06, OW attacks me at our old apt that H was staying at, and H completely did not defend me. A few days later he felt guilty and apologized and even moved in with me but kept the apt for a few months as a safety net. OW had also married some guy to prove a point to H. In Dec 2006, we bought our house and looking back I was trying to move on with our lives, although we kept fighting about OW. Ended up dealing with fertility problems and "I" was trying to get pg. H was still running to visit OW saying that he has to take care of his son and I don't want him to and I'm the bad guy and his son comes first, etc. etc.
So this past summer, H was acting strange again, removed, saying he was happy with marriage, he hadn't acconplished anything in his life, I think everything is mine, etc. In Sept we had a bad fight after H stood me up on a date to go be with son, showed up back at home at 10:45 and I was pissed off. He then left home saying I kicked him out (I did tell him to get out), was staying at his mother for a while, then OW left her H, and my H was even trying to have her stay at his mother's house for a while. Big chaos since H's family and I are really close. So now H and OW, her daughther and their son is renting a place.
This all seems so hopeless for me. I don't think H really loves OW but I know he lovessss his son. But she does feed a need for H. I'm well educated with a master degree and H has not gone to college. But I thought we were above all that bs since H has supported throughout my education. OW doesn't even have a high school diploma, no job, on welfare, etc. So I know she is totally feedng his ego and he feeds like she needs him for everything. H also use to talk about how women like that men don't want and they have nothing to offer and now look where he's is. Sorry so long, my question to follow...
