Bbj, my father in law brought his car here to help his son move out quickly, even though he knew about the possible OW, he knew that I tried and tried and tried..., he was well aware of what was going on. He set him up in a little appartment, arranged for the cleaning lady to do his laundry, had the kids sleeping in his house when it was cold, bought grocery and stuff... And this man had been my friend for years, I was his trustee, I, alone (without his son-I mean that), helped him get over the death of my MIL... For a while I wanted to scream at him "wake up!! you are not helping him/us this way", actually once I told him it was his and H's mother fault their son grew up irresponsible... Avoiding life, hurting his kids and me. He didnt like that...
Forget MiL, think that since Dan will definitely need help with the kids, it is better for them (kids) to have her helping out. Think of her as a nanny or something. I ended up thinking of my FiL's house as a B&B place... Take slow and calm steps, to the same direction : letting him go. You cant do it all at once. You will come across as if you are panicking. Slowly and carefully take necessary measures. He will get the message, no doubt. xxxx K
