Oh man I just feel for you. Reading all this makes me wish you were here on the west coast in California, and I could take you to a Starbucks so we could sit together drink coffee, eat cranberry bliss bars and hash through all this together.

Anyhow, I'm glad to hear he took most of the stuff because you won't want those memories. You need to start new. Get things you really like, new stuff... you have an excuse to shop! Yaaaay!!!

Too bad for him about him changing his mind on the babysitting expense. CALMLY tell him if he has problems or wants to make any changes he needs to talk with his lawyer and not you. In the meantime, you stick to what you want and decline whatever you don't agree with. At this point it doesn't matter who's fault it is, you have to work with what you have and do the best thing possible for the children.

Ah.... as far as the cell phone records, just delete them. Who cares....

Does your 5 yr old have a cell phone so she can call you if she has any worries or concerns? I don't want to alarm or scare you, but I'd have a talk with her about what is "inappropriate" and that if she's uncomfortable about something she can call you. Chances are absolutely nothing will happen, but a non-relative boy who may have lived with previous "dads" (my guess is mom may have lived with other men prior to shacking up with your X2B), and a chance the 5 yr old could be alone with him might concern me just a little, and cause me to carefully educate my kids about things so they can protect themselves or know how to react.... which any kid should know regardless. But do this carefully so you don't scare the kids!!! And don't you freak out either!!!

Do not overreact!!! Just try to be prepared. If you are prepared everyone should feel less anxiety because they will know what to do. They will be prepared for any senario and know what to do rather then worrying about what could happen. It's like Earthquake preparation. We don't want to scare the kids about them, but going over it, giving them the tools on how to react, it will only make them more confident.

Stay strong, and try to be positive for your kids. Hard times and big challenges can make us stronger. Teach your children to face them and prosper in spite of them.. because if they didn't have this difficult time to overcome, there would be another at a future time.

{{{{hugs}}}}}





There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.