welcome to the land of misfit toys #11

[Babygirl]

thanks le, sure dont feel like i am that strong, maybe that stubborn and insane lol! i am still laughing at what you taught me this morning!

amy, H and i just got thru fighting about that exact thing! He wants me to! he is mad I am not! and why? cause he doesnt get his break away from me, to do what he wants to with no boundaries while I would be gone, and he says that is why i am not going. laura and i had plans in place for that for me. UH HELLO? money worked, kids were busy but it was gonna work, I was gonna get to see my sis's and get away from this snow! and what puts the nail in I cant go? this lupus flare i am in. its really effecting me, especially cognitively. I hate talking out loud, and cant even drive myself right now. my dr f who has been with me for over 17 years is the one who says as much as i need a break, this break is not the one for me to have. So now after all the times he isnt involved with my health, he actually wants to go to the dr, so he can argue them into making it ok. I have to have a card thing to carry which i dont have for me to get thru airport security, from all my hardware in my bionic shoulder, they give it to me. I tried talkin to them this morning. and as much as i want to go, i have to listen to Dr F. all she is gonna do is bash him for making me have so much stress. if it had just been the baby bomb, and not the ones after that, I probably wouldnt be in a flare, or it wouldnt be this bad. he wants involved finally with my drs for his benefit of a free weekend. not seeing the benefits that i had to see of me not going for my health. in all honesty, I could have gone to be with ya'll and come home and been strong enuff to divorce him. THAT is how I felt about this trip, aside from the bonding fun with ya'll and the break from the land of misfit toys. and i get punished again, for the flare, which HE caused. I am mad!